**"The Nobel Prize in mathematics has been awarded to a California
professor who has discovered a new number. The number is 'bleen'--which
he claims belongs between six and seven"--George
Carlin.**

**"Teachers now are all upset because the first thing the new Talking
Barbie doll says is 'Math class is tough.' See, now that sends little
girls the wrong message. I think they should have her say something
that shows she doesn't have math anxiety; something like 'The applicative-order
y-combinator function is cool!'."--Wayne
Cotter.**

**"I do this job because there's no math involved. Math was my
worst subject. I had to take statistics in college. This'll
show you how stupid I was: I didn't even know statistics was math.
I had no clue--I thought it was stuff like 'Did you know no two snowflakes
are alike?'"--Jeff Cesario.**

**"A couple of months ago, I read about this guy in the paper who plunged
to his death bungee-jumping because his cord was seventy feet too long.
70 feet too long! This is why we take math. It would actually
make for a very good word problem, wouldn't it? 'Jim is about to
bungee-jump. The ground is 100 feet below Jim. What can the
maximum length of Jim's bungee cord be when stretched? a) More than
100 feet...'"--Jeff Stilson.**

**"It's real easy to write your girlfriend poetry if you just get out
a trigonometry book, and you find some theorems and put them into poetic
form. Every time you see the word 'angle', you change it to 'angel'.
It works really well:**

**"I hope I never find myself in a bad marriage, because deciding whether
or not to get a divorce would be extremely difficult. I mean,
you would have to determine if you wanted to suffer a whole bunch all at once, or if you wanted to spread the misery out over your entire life.
I guess that's when calculus comes in handy, you know--you figure out the
area under the two curves."--Jeff Stilson.**

**"Roman numerals, we learned in school. What is the application
of this? What are they going to teach us next, chariot repair? I
remember, I was all upset--I got a C on a test. Then I realized: it was
100!!"--Wayne
Cotter**

**Last revision: 9 March 02002.**
**This page is Y10K compliant.**