100 Years...100 Movie Quotes: The JFI Version

    Since I did so much complaining to anyone who would listen about the job that the AFI did on their movie quote list last spring, I’ve created my own with the stipulations that I’ve seen all of the movies listed here and that none of the quotes on their list also appears on mine, which basically means no Casablanca and plenty of John Hughes.  Yes, that leaves some very memorable lines in movie history out, but this one is much more relevant to what makes me tick.  After months of collecting a couple hundred entries, I’ve finally narrowed it down to the following 100.  Enjoy and feel free to rip me apart.

100.      Good day, eh. - Strange Brew

99.        There’s a name for you ladies, but it isn’t used in high society, outside of a kennel. - The Women

98.        Don’t stop now Baggie, you’re doin' real good. - The Jungle Book

97.        Oh captain, my captain. - Dead Poet’s Society

96.        Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. - The King and I

95.        I’m not a stripper, I’m a dancer! - Showgirls

94.        They’re called boobs, Ed. - Erin Brockovich

93.        I’m not going to be ignored, Dan! - Fatal Attraction

92.        Conversation like television set on honeymoon:  unnecessary. - Murder by Death

91.        It’s a hundred and six miles to Chicago, we’ve got a tank full of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it’s dark and we’re wearing sunglasses. - The Blues Brothers

90.        Free South Africa, you dumb son-of-a-bitch! - Lethal Weapon 2

89.        You burned the dog! - She's Having a Baby

88.        Cold my ass.  He's dead.  We killed it. - Tremors

87.        You’re going the wrong way! - Planes, Trains and Automobiles

86.        Life is not whatnot. - Sixteen Candles

85.        Get busy living or get busy dyin’. - The Shawshank Redemption

84.        Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya.   You killed my father.  Prepare to die.  - The Princess Bride

83.        I have come here to chew bubble gum and kick ass and I’m all out of bubble gum. - They Live

82.        Glad to meet you kid, you're a real horse's ass. - The Sting

81.        They're only noodles, Michael. - The Lost Boys

80.        They keep creating new ways to celebrate mediocrity. - The Incredibles

79.        Chicks can not hold their smoke.  That's what it is. - The Breakfast Club

78.        Something suddenly came up. - The Brady Bunch Movie

77.        Michael, if you’re going to sleep this late,  you’re going to miss a few mini-dramas. - The Big Chill

76.        I’m not drinking any Merlot. - Sideways

75.        Goats butt, birds fly and children who are going on an outing with their father must get some sleep. - Mary Poppins

74.        It’s grouper, it’s grouper, it’s grouper. - She's Having a Baby

73.        There are two kinds of women, high maintenance and low maintenance. - When Harry Met Sally

72.        Run, Forrest, run! - Forrest Gump

71.        There are two types of people in this world – those who like Neil Diamond and those who don’t.  My ex-wife loves him. - What About Bob?

70.        “We’re all out of cornflakes, FU.”  It took me three hours to figure out that FU was Felix Unger. - The Odd Couple

69.        He don’t even have his license, Lisa. - Weird Science

68.        Sorry I snapped at you, Lewis. - Revenge of the Nerds

67.        Don’t mess with the bull young man, you’ll get the horns. - The Breakfast Club

66.        Aw man, I just shot Marvin in the face. - Pulp Fiction

65.        So much time and so little to do.  Wait a minute.  Strike that.  Reverse it.  - Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory

64.        Buck Melanoma, Moley Russell’s wart. - Uncle Buck

63.        My own brother.  A God damned shit sucking vampire.  Ooh you wait til mom finds out, buddy. - The Lost Boys

62.        I know you are, but what am I? - Pee Wee's Big Adventure

61.        No capes! - The Incredibles

60.        I like alcoholics? - She's Having a Baby

59.        You using the whole fist, doc? - Fletch

58.        You fed the baby chili? - Mr. Mom

57.        Okay, but I get to be on top. - Big

56.        Hey check this out!  I found the ass end! - Tremors

55.        Here come two words for you – shut the fuck up. - Midnight Run

54.        Life moves pretty fast.  If you don’t stop and look around once in a while,  you could miss it. - Ferris Bueller's Day Off

53.        If you guys know so much about women, how come you’re here, at like the Gas-n-Sip, on a Saturday night completely alone drinking beers with no women anywhere? - Say Anything

52.        A car is not a toy. - Better Off Dead

51.        Don’t threaten me, Al.  You’re out of shape.  I’ll kick your ass. - Weird Science

50.        And if a frog had wings, it wouldn’t bump it’s ass a-hoppin'. - The Hudsucker Proxy

49.        Even if you were right that would be one, plus one, plus two, plus one, not  one, plus two, plus one, plus one. - Clue

48.        Chris, girls like you come along once in a lifetime. - Adventures in Babysitting

47.        To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people. - A Fish Called Wanda

46.        I’ve been listening to my guts since I as 14 years old and frankly speaking, I’ve come to the conclusion that my guts have shit for brains. - High Fidelity

45.        Insanity runs in my family.  It practically gallops. - Arsenic and Old Lace

44.        Didn’t ask for a dime.  Two dollars. - Better Off Dead

43.        I’m melting!  Melting!  Oh what a world, what a world.  Who would have thought a good little girl like you could destroy my beautiful wickedness? - The Wizard of Oz

42.        I don't believe it.  Really? - Caddyshack

41.        Call me Mr. Lamb Fries!  - Funny Farm

40.        You make me want to be a better man. - As Good as It Gets

39.        The English contribution to world cuisine.  The chip.  - A Fish Called Wanda

38.        Oh, hi, Ariel. - Footloose

37.        I’m so wasted! - Fast Times at Ridgemont High

36.        You betcha. - Fargo

35.        I carried a watermelon.  - Dirty Dancing

34.        Now eventually you do plan on having dinosaurs on your dinosaur tour, right?  Hello? - Jurassic Park

33.        Anti-wrinkle cream there may be, but anti-fat-bastard cream there is none. - The Full Monty

32.        Does space go down down baby, down down the roller coaster, sweet sweet baby sweet sweet don’t let me go, shimmy shimmy cocoa pop, shimmy shimmy rock, shimmy shimmy cocoa pop, shimmy shimmy rock.  I met a girlfriend a triscuit she said a triscuit a biscuit.  Ice cream soda put vanilla on the top.  Oooh Shalita walking down the street, ten times a week.   I read it, I said it, I stole my momma’s credit.  I’m cool, I’m hot. Sock you in the stomach three more times. - Big

31.        I need to believe that something extraordinary is possible. - A Beautiful Mind

30.        All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. - Lord of the Rings:  Fellowship of the Ring

29.        Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son. - Animal House

28.        Hey baby, what’s happening, let’s groove. - Good Morning, Vietnam

27.        I’ll be taking these Huggies and whatever cash you got. - Raising Arizona

26.        Will do, chickie. - Uncle Buck

25.        The great advantage of having a reputation for being stupid is that people are far less suspicious of you. - Four Weddings and a Funeral

24.        Flames, on the side of my face.  Breathing, breathless, heaving breaths. - Clue

23.        The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return. - Moulin Rouge

22.        What did my brother do today?  He stood up and fought for his country.  And what did I do?  I made a papier maché lobster head. - Love Actually

21.        This one time, at band camp…  - American Pie

20.        I want the knife…..please….. - The Golden Child

19.        You may ask – how do we keep our balance?  That I can tell you in one word.  Tradition! - Fiddler on the Roof

18.        You know, for kids! - The Hudsucker Proxy

17.        Aw come on guys, it's so simple.  Maybe you need a refresher course.  It’s all ball bearings nowadays. - Fletch

16.        Dis-gus-ting. - Drop Dead Fred

15.        Does Barry Manilow know you raid his wardrobe? - The Breakfast Club

14.        We’ll do it for Johnny, man! - The Outsiders

13.        Don’t touch it!  Jesus, he could get anything!  Tetanus, lock jaw, rabies, scabies, emphysema! - Adventures in Babysitting

12.        Carol the waitress, Simon the fag. - As Good as It Gets

11.        You look nice.  Yes you do.  Yes you do you look wonderful.  Yes you do.  Yeah, uh huh. - Footloose

10.        I want a hamburger, no a cheeseburger.  I want a hot dog, I want a milkshake, I want potato chips – You’ll get nothing and like it! - Caddyshack

9.         Never at any crisis in your life have I known you to have a handkerchief. - Gone With the Wind

8.         I gave her my heart and she gave me a pen.  - Say Anything

7.         Tenticles.  N T.  Tenticles.  Big difference. - Better Off Dead

6.         Mawage.  Mawage is what bwings us toegeva today.  - The Princess Bride

5.         Get your butt a little higher, Jake. - She's Having a Baby

4.         Um, he's sick.  My best friend’s sister’s boyfriend’s brother’s girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who’s going with a girl who saw Ferris pass out at 31 flavors last night.  I guess it’s pretty serious. - Ferris Bueller's Day Off

3.         Fra-gee-lay – oh, that must be Italian. - A Christmas Story

2.         If I could only have one food for the rest of my life?  That’s easy.  Pez.  Cherry flavored Pez.  No question about it. - Stand by Me

1.         My name’s Carmine, Fucko.  - Midnight Run

And if you’re looking for an explanation for any entry that isn’t obvious, just let me know.